A Christmas Coma
by jerseygirlinoxford
Summary: This is a holiday Plum. My stories are usually Babe and this is no exception, but there is no Morelli bashing here. No summary. Just read it!
1. Chapter 1

A Christmas Coma

By Jerseygirlinoxford

A/N: The spirit of Christmas is upon me, and it inspired me to write a Holiday Plum! At least the writing muse has returned, and I am back to work on Not Without You. I hope you like this story. It's my usual mix of humor, suspense, action, and angst, but it will have a happy ending. It's a Christmas story after all. While I appreciate your reviews(and I still want them), I'd like to ask all my readers for a favor. I have been a volunteer at the Ronald McDonald Family Room at Duke for almost 7 years now. Ronald McDonald Charities is a wonderful organization. It's something that most people will never need to use, but if you do have a sick child, there is no greater resource in your corner. So…next time you are at McDonalds, please put $1.00 in the donation box if you have enjoyed this story. Or if someone does a good deed for you, pay it forward. This is the season of giving.

Chapter One

With Christmas only two days away, Vinnie harped on Stephanie to pick up the remaining skips before he left for his cruise. Stephanie already grabbed the embezzler and the drunk driver, but the armed robber still eluded her. Figures, that skip would pay for all her Christmas shopping and January's rent. Stephanie decided to cash in her body receipts now, do a little shopping, and then look for Timothy 'Tiny Tim' Mathews tomorrow. His profile pegged him at six foot four. She didn't even want to think about what body part gave him the nickname 'Tiny'.

Stephanie pulled her car from the police station's lot and headed towards the bonds office. Fortunately, Morelli was nowhere to be seen. They had another blow out about her job…and playing couch commando with the remote control. That was just after Thanksgiving, and she'd only seen him in passing. She still couldn't decide if she missed him or not. That couldn't be a good sign for any relationship.

She turned onto Montgomery and almost ran over another ex. Dickie Orr had been shuffling across the street carrying a brand new Dirt Devil. He came from the direction of A & G Appliances. Dickie wouldn't have been such a loss, but that was a brand new vacuum. Briefly overcome with the spirit of the holidays, Stephanie rolled down her window to apologize.

"Watch where you're going, dumb ass!" Dickie screamed at her. He tossed the vacuum into the trunk of his red BMW then gave her a middle-fingered salute when he realized it was her.

"What an asshole," Stephanie muttered under her breath. She should have run him down like she did Morelli. She gave Dickie another Italian hand gesture before hitting the gas pedal.

To Stephanie's dismay, a black Porsche Cayenne sat at the curb in front of the bonds office. The holiday season usually brought out the best in people…except Ranger. And her ambivalent feelings about him didn't help matters either. Ranger's mixed signals had taken a toll on her. He said that he loved her, was emotionally attached to her, was always there for her, but made it clear that he wanted no part of any committed relationship with her. Stephanie was past the point of being able to settle for just friendship.

On the other hand, there was Joe Morelli. Her mother's constant tirades of settling down and marrying Morelli had gotten old as well. Stephanie did love Joe, and she was pretty sure that Joe cared for her too. She just never had that giddy, head-over-heels, butterflies in the stomach, feeling of being in love with Morelli like she did with Ranger. Ranger was magic, and Joe was a friend with benefits. As much as she felt like she would be settling with Joe, she got the impression she wasn't Joe's first choice either.

Stephanie eased into the open space two cars behind Ranger's Cayenne. As her luck would have it, Ranger emerged from the office. And even worse, her parking spot sat right across from the alley. Swell. She knew it wouldn't do any good to pretend that she didn't see him. Ranger already was leaning against the brick wall at the corner of the building.

Stephanie stalled by slowly gathering up her paperwork and organizing her pocketbook. With Ranger's crankiness and her confusion, she dreaded this encounter like a trip to the gynecologist. She glanced his way and noticed that he had crossed his arms. Now she had to deal with a cranky and impatient Ranger. She deeply inhaled, blew the stray curls off her forehead, and exited the car.

"Oh, hi Ranger," she began. "I didn't see you there."

Ranger's blank mask stayed in place as he took her by the elbow and guided her into the alley. Pressing his body into hers, he backed her against the bricks and kissed her with everything he had. Her body betrayed her as Stephanie grabbed the front of his jacket and gave back as good as she got. It was probably only seconds, but it felt like a lot of minutes before her mind regained control. More mixed signals. This had to stop before it destroyed her. Cutting Ranger out of her life would be the hardest thing that she would ever do. Stephanie may never fully get over it, but at least it would force to her move on with her life. Stephanie pulled away and looked down. Ranger moved in for more, but she put a hand to his chest.

"Don't," she whispered.

"Why?" he asked. No emotion in his voice at all. "You back with Morelli?"

Stephanie rolled her eyes. Like that had ever stopped him before. She couldn't look him in the face, so she just shook her head.

"What's wrong?"

It was now or never, she thought. As much as she wanted to be with Ranger, the non-relationship relationship they had was going the same place as her friends-with-benefits relationship with Morelli…nowhere.

"I…I can't do this anymore, Ranger," she told him softly.

Ranger raised a brow and crossed his arms again as he straightened. "What are you talking about, Babe?"

"I'm talking about _us_. This. Kissing in this alley. You telling me that you love me but don't want a relationship," she blurted out. Now that the flood gates had opened, she couldn't seem to stop. "I'm all mixed up inside and don't like how it feels anymore."

Ranger stepped back and leaned against the opposite wall. "I've always been honest with you, Stephanie."

Stephanie? Yikes. That didn't sound too good. Now that she laid all her cards on the table that was all he had to say? Her Italian-Hungarian blood began to boil.

"Are you sure about that?"

When he didn't answer, Stephanie turned to leave.

"Babe…please."

Please! He pulled out the kryptonite. Damn it! She sighed and slowly spun to face him.

"You have no idea how much I want to…" he began, but Stephanie cut him off.

"Yeah, I know. There are things I don't know about you. Your lifestyle doesn't lend itself to relationships. Blah blah blah," Stephanie told him. "Whatever, Ranger. I get it."

Ranger tried to reach for her, but she put up a hand again.

"No, you don't get it," he insisted but kept his distance.

"Remember when you told me that you would ruin me for all other men? Well, you did. You ruined my heart. How long did you think you could play with my emotions before I would break? Well, let me clue you in…I'm broken!"

Stephanie knew it was only a matter of time before the tears would fall. She hated for people to see her cry. She scurried out of the alley before the first tear fell. She couldn't face Lula or Connie, or anyone for that matter, so she practically dove in her car. Praying, she turned the key and breathed a sigh of relief when the engine cranked right over. She gunned the motor and tore down the street without looking back.

Stephanie didn't even make it around the corner when the Batman theme wafted from her purse. She refused to answer it. Her apartment was out; Ranger would probably show up there. She couldn't go shopping because she didn't turn in her body receipts. And listening to her mother go on and on about Morelli wasn't an option either. With two days left, she might as well go find Tiny Tim.

She pulled into the drive-thru at McDonalds and order French fries and an egg nog shake. Then she parked at the back of the lot to review his file. Denial and McDonalds' fries couldn't push her fight with Ranger out of her mind. Where she got the strength to say those things to the man in black was a total mystery. It was also a long time coming. But she couldn't help feeling guilty too. Ranger might have played with her emotions, but he had always been there for her as well.

The Batman theme played once more. Again, she ignored it, but he left a message this time. Her brain and heart debated listening to the message or deleting it.

"Oh who am I kidding?" she muttered as she connected to her voice mail. Of course she wanted to hear what he had to say. Her head was done, but her heart wasn't ready to let go.

"Babe…don't give up on me."

Shit! Shit! Shit! He did it again. This was a kabillion times worse than please! Just like on Star Trek, that message was like a tractor beam pulling her back. Did she just give him a wake-up call? Did he think he'd be able to use his Ranger charm to keep their non-relationship going? More confusion.

Stephanie had always made herself available to Ranger. Maybe it was time to let him sweat for a change. Ranger didn't like unknowns. Ranger always had to be in control. For once, Stephanie had the feeling that she might have the upper hand. She replayed his message. Maybe this was a good thing, she told herself. It put her mind at ease enough to refocus on her skip.

Tiny Tim Matthews belonged to The Breed motorcycle club. Not good. Stephanie couldn't understand why the bond was so low with all his priors. Normally, a guy with this history would be in Ranger's price range. He worked at Hailey's Pub on the other side of town. Looked like he was two-timing the girlfriend who posted his bond. The alternate address sure wasn't his mother or his sister! She decided to start at Hailey's.

A few motorcycles and a couple of cars were scattered in the parking lot. She scanned the license plates, but none matched Tiny Tim's. Stephanie polished off her egg nog shake then started for the door.

"Oops," she sighed.

Stephanie placed her bag on the hood and took inventory. No gun, no pepper spray, and no cuffs. Only her wallet, keys, a wayward Tic Tac, and a tampon could be found. Her spidey senses twitched. She hadn't planned on looking for Tiny Tim until tomorrow. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Then again, when was she ever really prepared to do her job? Bringing in this skip would really pull her out of a financial hole. It wouldn't hurt to just check out the place. Besides, even the toughest men cowered in the presence of a feminine hygiene product. She shook off the bad vibes and slipped inside the bar.

The dim lighting hindered Stephanie's ability to identify Tiny Tim or anyone else for that matter. She could make out one man behind the bar, three other men and a woman seated in front of him, and about three other people at a table in the back.

"What'll it be?" the bartender called out to her.

"Oh…nothing," Stephanie replied. She shuffled over to him. "I'm looking for Tiny Tim. Have you seen him around?"

"Who's askin'?" the bartender asked cautiously.

"A friend," Stephanie lied. "He left me a message that he needed some money, but he didn't let me know how to reach him. I thought I might catch him at work."

The bartender nodded. "He'll be in at nine."

"Thanks. I'll come back later," she told him.

Stephanie felt a sense of relief to be leaving the bar without any trouble. She decided that she would go back to the bonds office and turn in her body receipts. With the money, she could go shopping and avoid Ranger at the same time. Now that was the best idea she had all day!

Distracted by her thoughts, Stephanie did not hear the person sneaking up behind her.

"Stay away from him, you bitch!"

She didn't know what hit her, but intense pain shot through the back of her head. The world spun as the gravel came up to meet her. Her vision fogged as she fought to stay awake. The last thing Stephanie heard was Ranger's voice telling her not to give up on him. Then she slipped into the abyss.

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews and to those that gave those donations. I hate to ask for another favor, but please say a prayer for all those involved in that tragic school shooting in CT today. I can't even begin to imagine what they are going through.

Chapter Two

"Pressure's dropping!"

Stephanie awoke to a jumble of lights and frantic sounds. And the smell of Christmas cookies.

"I can't leave you alone for five minutes without you getting into a frickin' mess."

Stephanie turned to see Diesel lying in bed next to her and looking as scruffy as ever. His arms were stretched up with his hands behind his head, right foot over left. He seemed to be quite comfortable. Too comfortable.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded.

And what was she doing here? Something didn't seem right. She had absolutely no recollection of going back to her apartment. If Diesel was there, either he wanted her help in finding one of Santa's elves or she was in big trouble. She had a strong feeling that it was the latter.

He slid off the bed, sauntered around to her side, and extended his hand. "Come on, darlin'. I've got to show you something."

Stephanie peeked under the covers to make sure she was appropriately covered. She placed her hand in his, and he pulled her to her feet. "There'd better be coffee first. And a Boston crème."

Diesel led her to the living room, and she gasped at the scene before her. She attempted to retreat to the safety of her bedroom, but the apartment had vanished. They were in the parking lot of Hailey's Pub. Hal and Tank stood beside a crowd of EMTs and police officers that were feverishly packing up someone to transport to the hospital. She started towards the group, but Diesel firmly placed a hand on her shoulder.

The screeching of tires caused them to turn to see a black Cayenne careen into the lot and skid to a stop. A wild-looking Ranger emerged and ran towards the scene.

"Oh my God," Stephanie cried. "Who got hurt?"

Hal and Tank fought to hold Ranger back. "Let them do their job," Tank commanded.

Stephanie couldn't see who was on the stretcher until they rolled it into the back of the ambulance. It was her. And she looked like hell. Did she really leave her apartment looking like that? Diesel knew her all too well when he tightened his grip as her knees weakened.

"T-that's me," she whispered.

"Yeah," Diesel replied. "You've had a pretty bad day."

Her attention focused on Ranger. She had never seen him become so unglued before. She watched as Tank struggled to calm him down.

"Pull it together, man," Tank ordered. "She needs you in one piece."

Hal pulled the SUV alongside them, and Tank practically threw Ranger in the back seat. Before the ambulance pulled out, Hal raced out of the lot and towards the hospital.

"What happened to me?" Stephanie asked. "Did I get shot?"

"One of Tiny Tim's chicks wacked you in the head with a baseball bat," Diesel explained. "He's got his own harem. Apparently, he's not as tiny as you thought."

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "I so didn't need to know that."

Diesel slung an arm over her shoulder. "Maybe not that, but there are a few more things I need to show you."

He squeezed her tight, and the world darkened for a moment. When daylight returned, he twirled her around and saw that they had popped onto Morelli's front porch. Ranger's reaction to her accident already unnerved her. She didn't know if she could handle seeing Morelli's as well.

"Does Joe know what happened?"

Diesel shook his head. "Not yet. But I think you need to see this."

Diesel opened the front door and stepped inside. Stephanie followed cautiously. She heard voices. One of them was a woman!

"I can't keep doing this Joe."

Stephanie peered around Diesel to see the owner of that familiar voice. Terri Gillman! That piece of shit rat-bastard was two-timing her! Stephanie lunged for Terri, but Diesel, once again, held her back.

"Terri," Joe sighed. "What did you expect? I'm a cop. How long do you think I could look the other way at your _business involvements_ without me getting in trouble?"

"Don't give me that," Terri snapped. "This is about Stephanie, isn't it?"

"Leave Stephanie out of it," Joe warned. "You know I've always loved you. You were the one that dumped me, remember? You didn't want to be tied down after high school. I couldn't handle being without you, so I joined the Navy. You went off with that asshole Gillman."

"Joining the Navy was the best thing for you," Terri shot back. "You needed to grow up. The Navy made a man out of you, Joe. I think it was important for us to find out who we were. This is our time now. You said you broke up with Stephanie. Why can't we be together now?"

"When you stop working for your uncle, we'll talk about it." Joe's phone buzzed. "Morelli."

Stephanie watched as his face paled.

"How bad?" He jumped up and looked for his keys. "I gotta go. Stephanie was attacked. It's bad."

Terri's face fell. "You always run to her. If you're not with her anymore, why do you need to run to her side now?"

Joe pulled Terri to her feet and walked her to the door. "Stephanie will always be my friend, Terri. Like it or not, she saved my ass from being convicted of murder. She helped me when everybody else turned their backs to me. And she risked her own life to do it. That's a true friend. She needs me now, and I'm going."

Morelli locked the door behind him then ran to his truck. He peeled out of his driveway and sped off towards the hospital. Terri watched until he was out of sight before getting into her own car and drove away.

"I can't believe he was cheating on me," Stephanie growled. She always had her suspicions. Now, she had actual confirmation.

Diesel's jaw tightened. "You're not being fair, darlin'."

Stephanie's head snapped up. "I'm not being fair?"

"What Morelli has with Terri Gillman is no different than what you have with Ranger," he told her softly. "Was it fair to Morelli when you were kissing Ranger all those times? And sleeping in the same bed?"

Stephanie opened her mouth to retort, but nothing came out. She hated when Diesel was right. Smug bastard! She couldn't commit to Joe because she was in love with Ranger. Joe couldn't commit to her because he still loved Terri. The anger at Joe vanished as quickly as it came. Suddenly, she felt sympathy for Terri. She and Terri had a lot more in common than Joe Morelli. Both were in love with men that refused to commit to a relationship for stupid-ass reasons.

And then it dawned on Stephanie what Morelli had just said about her being a true friend. That had to be the nicest thing she'd ever heard him say about her. Stephanie felt that Morelli really didn't think too highly of her. Many times, he had put her down. Called her stupid. To hear what Joe really thought about her warmed her heart.

"My parents!" she gasped. "Do they know what happened?"

"Eddie Gazzarra picked them up, and they are almost there," Diesel said.

"Am I dead?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"No."

The hesitation was only for a micro-second, but Stephanie caught it right away. Before she could grill him about it, he pulled her close again.

"Come on," he began. "We still have a lot to see."

"If I'm not dead then what is this? Stephanie Plum's version of _It's A Wonderful Life_?"

Diesel grinned. "Not exactly. I'm sort of channeling Charles Dickens right now. I'm thinking this more like _A Christmas Coma_." Diesel snickered at his own joke.

"Do I get stuck with you the whole time, or do Lula and Vinnie pop up as the Ghosts of Christmas Past and Present?"

"I'm sorry, darlin'. I crack myself up sometimes. I was just trying to lighten the mood," he replied with a smile, playful elbowing Stephanie in the ribs.

Stephanie sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. "Are you sure that I'm the one with the head injury?"

Diesel sombered. "You said that you were confused. My job is to _un_-confuse you."

"So now you are like…going to show me events in my past and future that are supposed to give me my happy ever after ending?"

Diesel smiled. "Not exactly, but that's close enough. We'd better get started. You've got a lot to see."

He slid an arm around her waist and pulled her close. His hand cupped her left breast.

"Is there a reason why you are feeling me up?" She bent his middle finger back, and he hissed in pain.

"Sorry, I just wanted to make sure I had a good grip," he joked. "This jump is a little further."

Diesel held her tight as the world darkened once again.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks again for all your wonderful reviews. Please keep them coming.

Chapter Three

When the lights returned, Stephanie and Diesel stood outside a huge Victorian-style home. It was tastefully decorated for the holidays with a huge wreath on the front door and electric candles in each window. The snow on the ground added to its festive appearance. Even though it had been a long time, Stephanie would recognize this house in any time zone. This was Dickie Orr's parents' home.

Before Stephanie could question him, Diesel dragged her up the front walk and into the foyer of the stately home. It looked just as she had remembered it. The clanking of utensils on fine china and polite conversation filtered from the formal dining room.

It was surreal. Like no time had passed. This was Christmas Eve, and the same night that Dickie had proposed. Mr. Orr sat at the head of the banquet-sized table with Mrs. Orr stationed on the other end. Dickie and Stephanie sat across from one another right next to his mother. Mr. Orr's law partners and their wives filled the other places.

"I'm so excited that you'll be joining our family, Stephanie." Mrs. Orr slurred her words as she examined the engagement ring. For the first time, Stephanie noticed how drunk she was.

She looked over at Mr. Orr who preoccupied himself with a busty redhead with her hand on his thigh. How did she miss that?

Dickie excused himself from the table and snuck off to his father's office. He doubled checked to make sure he wasn't followed before picking up the phone to make a call.

"Hi, baby," he cooed into the phone. "What are doing?"

Stephanie furrowed her brow. "Who's he talking to?"

Diesel shook his head.

"Oh yeah?" Dickie reached down and readjusted himself. "What are you wearing?"

Stephanie gagged. The ring hadn't been on her finger for a hot minute, and Asshole was already having phone sex with someone else!

"Look, we're almost done with dinner. I'll drop Stephanie off and pick you up. Just bring those flavored lubricants because Santa Claus is comin'."

Stephanie blew her top. Before Diesel could hold her back this time, she smacked Dickie in the back of the head.

"Ow!" Dickie cried out as he dropped the phone. He spun around to find no one behind him. He nervously scanned the room as he hung up the phone. Then Dickie slowly backed out of the room as he rubbed his head.

Stephanie whirled around to face Diesel. "Oh-kay. So what was I supposed to learn from this? That I married an asshole and should have seen it coming?"

"Nope. Dickie Orr always was, is, and will be an asshole. With all this Christmas spirit and your head injury, I just wanted to make sure that you never forget it," Diesel explained with a sly smile.

She sighed as she sank into a large easy chair in the corner. "I always wondered why he took me home so early that night. I mean, it was Christmas Eve, and we had just got engaged. I never understood why he didn't want to spend more time with me on such a special night. Now I know that I came second to some slut with lubricants."

Diesel slid into the chair beside her. "If it makes you feel any better, Santa came…but he never made it down the chimney…if you know what I mean." He waggled his eyebrows.

Stephanie snorted as she slapped a hand to her mouth. "Diesel, that was kind of gross. But actually, it does make me feel a little better."

He tugged at an errant curl before jumping to his feet. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to his side. "You know the drill. Places to go and people to see."

"Please tell me that there will be some good things coming up. This has kind of been a little depressing," she whined.

"Darlin', you were confused about your life, and now you are in a coma. This isn't the Oprah show where everyone gets a free car and a trip to Australia. This is reality here."

"Do you spend your spare time thinking up those little pearls of wisdom?"

"Of course," Diesel responded. He held her tight. "And away we go!"

The next place they materialized was on an unfamiliar city block. Some row houses and brick buildings. An elevated trained roared by about a block away. There was little activity on the street. An occasional car passed by. Then she heard it. A choir singing _Away In A Manger_. It came from the large church on the corner at the end of the block.

"I love this song," Diesel mused. He headed for the church and pulled her along.

They entered through a side door as the choir finished their song. Upon seeing that the majority of the church goers were Latino, Stephanie knew Ranger was there somewhere. She could feel it, so she scanned the pews looking for him. Diesel elbowed her and cocked his head towards the front.

A young boy of about eight ambled up to the pulpit. There were several other children on the altar dressed as Mary, Joseph, and some shephards. This must be the children's mass on Christmas Eve, she thought. When the young boy turned to face the crowd, she was able to see his face. There was no mistaking who he was.

Stephanie was mesmerized. Ranger…no, not Ranger. This was Carlos. He recited his reading like a typical child. The speedy monotone style. Mispronounced words along the way. And it was still one of the most precious things she had ever heard. He finished it off with usual '_this is the word of the Lord_.'

Her Catholic upbringing kicked in, and she automatically responded with everyone else. "Thanks be to God."

She watched as Carlos hopped down from the little box that had been placed for the children to reach the microphone. He quickly crossed in front of the altar. He started to head back to his seat, but an older man waved him back. Wide eyed, Carlos scurried back to the altar and bowed before the large cross. He then dashed back to the people that Stephanie assumed were his family. Carlos looked up at his father for approval. His father must have said something good because the church practically lit up from his smile. His mother leaned down to kiss his cheek. Standing on the other side of his mother were his older siblings. She couldn't make out their ages, but it looked like Carlos was the youngest.

After the mass was over, Diesel and Stephanie stepped to the side as the people filed out. She made sure to keep an eye on the Manoso family to catch them as they left.

"You did well, Carlos," his father told him. "I told you that you could do it."

"Can we have cookies and egg nog when we get home?" Carlos asked his father.

"You and the stupid egg nog," one of his sisters complained.

Carlos frowned. "It's Christmas, and you're supposed to have egg nog! It's not Christmas without egg nog!"

"I like egg nog too," another sister chimed in. She looked to be the oldest of the girls. Stephanie wondered if that was Celia.

"I want to put the star on the tree this year," another sister spoke up.

"When we get home, all of you put on your pajamas," their mother told them. "Then we'll finish decorating the tree and have cookies and egg nog." A cheer went up among the Manoso children except the oldest boy. He just shook his head at his younger siblings.

Stephanie attempted to follow them down the street, but Diesel stopped her in her tracks.

"Time to go," he told her softly.

"He was soooo cute," she gushed. "Just look at that face. And that smile. Oh my God, and that reading? Wasn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard?"

"Oh yeah," Diesel agreed. "He's a sweetie all right. Come on, darlin', more to see."

With a quick embrace, they slipped into the darkness once again.

When the fog passed, and she opened her eyes, Stephanie immediately recognized Morelli's house. Not the one his aunt left to him, this was the home where he grew up. The entire 'Burg knew that Rocco Morelli was a nasty and abusive drunk. Of course, Stephanie had only heard the stories second and third hand. There were times at school when Joe showed up with a fat lip or a black eye. He explained those away with tales of his many legendary fights. Now, Stephanie wasn't so sure that was the absolute truth.

Just when she was about to ask Diesel if this was the Grinch part of her coma tour, the front door swung open with a bang. A fifteen year old Joe Morelli took the front steps two at a time then hit the ground running.

"Now you'll wish you kept up those morning runs with Ranger," Diesel told her. "Let's go."

Morelli ran down the street like the devil was after him. Surprisingly, Stephanie was able to keep up. And she wasn't out of breath.

"Maybe those couple of morning runs with Ranger paid off after all," she quipped.

"Now I know you've got a bad head injury," Diesel shot back.

Morelli came to a stop at the end of a court. Stephanie had never been down this street, but she guessed this was Terri Gillman's house. Well, Terri Grizolli. Joe scrounged around for something on the ground. Stones. He began to toss them at a window on the second floor. After the second stone, the room lit up. Terri, wearing Joe's high school football jersey, opened the window and looked down.

"Joe? Are you all right?" she asked.

"No. Can you come down?"

A few seconds after closing the window, the porch light next to the back door lit up the yard. Joe ran up the steps and wrapped his arms around Terri.

Stephanie and Diesel peered around the corner of the house. For the first time, Stephanie saw the blood dripping from a cut over Morelli's left eye. Now she knew how he had gotten that scar through his eye brow.

"What happened?" Terri asked, taking a step back. She examined the wound. She removed a tissue from the pocket of her robe and began to wipe away the blood.

"I got into a fight with my old man. Can I stay here tonight? Or at least until he passes out? He'll kill me if I go back there now," Joe explained.

Stephanie's chest tightened as she clapped a hand over her mouth. The rumors were true about the horrors that happened inside the Morelli house.

"Of course," Terri told him. "But what will happen tomorrow? Won't he still be mad?"

Joe shook his head. "Lucky for me, he won't remember a damn thing. He never does."

Morelli dropped onto the porch swing. "I just couldn't stand by and watch him push my mother around anymore. It's fucking Christmas Eve. You know how my mom goes all out with her baking. He threw her cookies out the back door, and she started crying."

He paused as he rubbed his face with both hands. "I got up in his face and told him to leave her alone. He back-handed me and told me to shut the fuck up. I lost it, Terri. I knocked him right on his ass. He was too drunk to get up so he started yelling at me. Told me to get outta his house. That he was going to kill me. I didn't know what else to do, so I ran."

"You should have called the cops," Terri insisted as she pulled out another tissue to clean his face.

"If I thought it would do any good, I would," Joe sighed. "You know my mom wouldn't press charges against him. Hell, she won't even think about leaving him."

Terri snuggled next to him as Joe pulled her close. "You can stay here as long as you need to, Joe. I'll talk to my parents. You can't keep living in fear all the time."

"I really appreciate that, but I can't leave my mom alone with him. I'm the only one left at home. My brothers and sisters are so happy to be out of the house that they don't come around anymore. Tony and Cathy already said I can come live with them. I just can't do that to her. Maybe I can talk my mom into kicking him out for her New Year resolution."

"Or maybe something might happen to him," Terri mused.

Joe frowned. "Don't even joke like that Terri. There are many people in this town that would love a chance to take him down. Myself included. As much as I hate the son of a bitch, he's still my father."

With that, Morelli burst into tears. Terri guided his head to her shoulder and just held him tight. Not only was Terri crying, but so was Stephanie.

Diesel hugged Stephanie from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist. "You okay?"

Stephanie nodded. "In a way, Joe got his wish. His father died just after the New Year. Someone shot him, and they never found out who did it. Now I wonder if Terri's family had anything to do with it."

Stephanie sighed before continuing. "He turned sixteen that March. That's when he really started getting into trouble. This is so sad. Or was so sad."

"Every little thing we go through in life has some sort of effect on us. Sometimes it's good, and sometimes it's bad," Diesel explained.

"I don't have proof, but I believe that Ranger killed Abruzzi to protect me. Terri had something to do with Rocco's death, didn't she?"

Diesel shrugged and cocked his head toward the porch.

Stephanie looked back at Joe and Terri. He had stopped crying, and now they were playing tonsil hockey. Joe slid his hand inside Terri's robe and squeezed her breast. Stephanie rolled her eyes and took Diesel's hand.

"And some things never change," she muttered before turning to Diesel and pointing a finger in his face. "And don't you get any ideas!"

Diesel feigned surprise. "Who me? I resemble that remark!"

Stephanie just shook her head. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'm ready for more."

"I thought you'd never ask," he joked before the darkness returned.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Once again, thanks for all the reviews and PMs. I got a little behind because of a bad headache last night. Drugs can be a wonderful thing.

Chapter Four

When the world around them returned, Stephanie realized it was the waiting room for St. Francis' ER. She looked to Diesel for clarification. Why did they come back here?

Diesel returned her look with a goofy grin. "You gotta trust me, darlin'. I know what I'm doing."

"Are you sure?" Stephanie wondered.

"Yeah…well I think so," he admitted. Before she could think of a snappy come-back, he twisted her around. "Take a look."

Stephanie spied her parents by the main doors that led to the treatment area. While her father comforted her mother, her grandmother eagerly checked out the squad of Rangeman employees as they marched by. Stephanie made her way towards her family through the crowded room.

"Stephanie's going to be fine, Helen," Frank told her. "She's tougher than you think she is."

Helen dabbed the tears from her cheeks with one of the ever present tissues from her pocket. "She's never been hurt this badly before. You heard the doctor. This is more than a little bump on the head. They're taking her for surgery!"

Oh my God, Stephanie thought. She must have been in pretty bad shape. She needed a few stitches in the past but never surgery.

"I knew something like this would happen," Helen continued. "Criminals don't care who they hurt. They don't care that she was just trying to do her job. A _job_ that I _hate_."

"A _job_ that made her _happy_," Frank corrected. "Stephanie was never a nine to five kind of girl, Helen. You know that."

"Oh Helen!" a woman's shrill voice screeched from behind Stephanie.

She turned to see Marion Zajak wave to her mother as if she were being attacked by a cloud of gnats. She scurried over and took the empty seat across from her parents.

"I'm so sorry," she gushed. "I brought my daughter here because she's got another urinary tract infection, and I just heard about Stephanie. How tragic!"

"Thank you," Helen responded politely. Helen Plum never forgot her manners.

"I'm sure you're not surprised though," Marion continued. "Stephanie has always been a problem child. Always getting into some kind of mess. I've never had any problems with my daughter. I guess being married keeps you out of trouble."

"Nice," Stephanie hissed. "She rubs my injury in my mother's face while her daughter boinks half the town. Unbelievable!"

"Give your mother a little credit," Diesel advised. "You come from her bloodline after all."

Stephanie watched as her mother's face changed. The expression sort of looked like a cross between being constipated and smelling something rotten. It was a look she had only seen a few times. The first time was when Mrs. Herrel told her mother about the infamous choo-choo incident in the Morelli's garage. Mount St. Helen's was about to blow.

"You know something, Marion," Helen Plum said, "There are two things that I deeply regret right now. One, I never told my daughter how proud I am of her. She's a hard worker and has the utmost integrity. And two, I should have told you a long time ago that your daughter is nothing but a slut! She may be married, but she has been servicing half of Trenton while her husband is at work."

It was then that the two women noticed the eerie quiet that had fallen over the waiting room. Grandma Mazur's howl of laughter broke the silence.

"Slut?" Grandma Mazur cheered. "You tell her, Helen!"

"It's about time," Frank muttered under his breath.

Helen turned to leave but spun back around. "Maybe you should tell her to keep her legs closed and stay away from the lubricants. That way she wouldn't keep getting those _urinary tract infections_!"

Stephanie's jaw practically hit the floor as her mother stormed out of the waiting room. Had she not seen it with her own eyes, she would have never believed it. Helen Plum not only defended her, but she put that stuck-up bitch in her place. All those years, she had to hear about how Marion Zajak's daughter never jumped off the roof and broke her leg, got divorced, or lost a job, or had stalkers. It was almost worth getting knocked into a coma to see this.

"Interesting comment about the lubricants, dontcha think?" Diesel mused.

Stephanie frowned as realization dawned on her. "You mean she was the slut that Dickie was talking to? Ewww. She's even more disgusting that Joyce Barnhardt."

"Like I said, don't ever forget what an asshole Dickie Orr is. You don't need the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future to make you see the light on that douche bag."

The crowd returned to the conversations they were engaged in prior to Mount St. Helen's eruption. Stephanie again scanned the room. Seemed like everyone was there. Morelli. Lula. Connie. Eddie. Everyone except the one person she needed to see. Ranger was noticeably absent. Her heart sank into the stomach.

Diesel took her by the hand. "This way. You didn't really think Ranger wouldn't be here, did you?"

Diesel led her through the double doors that led to the main lobby and cafeteria. She couldn't imagine Ranger hanging out in the cafeteria eating the unhealthy food served there while she was fighting for her life. Diesel paused mid way down the hall and cocked his head towards an ornate wooden door. The hospital's chapel. Diesel opened the door and pushed her inside.

Her mother knelt before a rack of lit candles. Her head bowed in prayer. Crossing herself, she rose to leave but stopped after she focused on something in the corner. Stephanie followed her gaze. Ranger sat in the darkened corner of the chapel. His arms rested on his knees, head bent and fingers steepled. He looked as broken as Stephanie had felt earlier that day.

She watched her mother slowly make her way over to him. "Stephanie can use all the prayers she can get."

Ranger gave a curt nod.

"I didn't know that you were a religious person," Helen continued as she sat down beside him.

Ranger shook his head. "I'm not."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you." Helen began to rise.

"I used to pray," Ranger told her. Helen sat back down. "Until I learned that prayers don't do any good."

Ranger leaned back against the wooden bench. "I'm sorry that I wasn't able to protect Stephanie, Mrs. Plum. I should have been there."

"If I'm right about you, I think you know my daughter well enough to know that once she sets her mind to something…there is no stopping her. I don't blame you for this, and I'm sure Stephanie wouldn't blame you either. So please don't blame yourself for this."

Ranger again nodded. Helen stood again and side-stepped to the end of the pew. Before she left, she turned back to Ranger.

"God doesn't always answer our prayers the way we want Him to, but He does listen. Don't give up on Stephanie. She's really going to need us now."

Stephanie shivered as the chills vibrated through her spine after what her mother said. It must have struck a chord with Ranger as well. As soon as Helen left the chapel, Ranger bowed his head and began to pray.

Diesel embraced her again. "Time to go. I got my second wind."

She took one last glimpse of Ranger before the darkness came.

They reappeared on another city block. It wasn't the same one as last time, but Stephanie was sure it was Ranger's neighborhood in Newark. Diesel pointed to a man and a young boy walking towards them.

When they passed under a street light, she could see that it was Ranger…uh…Carlos and his older brother. He looked to be a few years older than the scene from the Christmas Eve mass. His brother wore the black beret and dress uniform of the Army Rangers. Carlos trotted alongside him carrying a grocery bag.

"We're so glad you could make it home for Christmas, Jose," Carlos told him. "Momma was so happy that she cried."

"And we can't have Christmas Eve without egg nog," his brother laughed as he pointed towards the bag.

Once again, Stephanie began to swoon. Young Carlos was so different than adult Ranger. He seemed to have such a joy for living. What closed him off, she wondered to herself.

Two cars turned down the street. Gun fire erupted from the window of one of the vehicles. Jose Manoso pushed Carlos to the ground before covering him with his larger frame. Porch lights flicked on as the cars sped off.

Mr. Manoso flew down the stairs and ran to his sons sprawled on the sidewalk. "Jose? Carlos? Are you all right?"

He rolled Jose off Carlos. Blood mixed with egg nog on the concrete beneath them. Jose had taken a hit to the chest. Carlos was uninjured.

"Call an ambulance!" Mr. Manoso cried to his wife who stood in the doorway.

Mr. Manoso shook his son as he took his last breath. "No, stay with me Jose. The ambulance is coming."

Two of Carlos' sisters joined their father around Jose. The younger one looked up at Carlos and cried, "This is all your fault! You and that stupid egg nog. This wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for you!"

Carlos began to cry. Stephanie wanted to take him in her arms and comfort him. A siren could be heard in the distance and grew louder with each passing second.

"Everything that happens in our lives has some effect on who we become," Diesel explained softly as he pulled her into a gentle hug.

"This is horrible," Stephanie bawled. "Look at him. He's crushed. And how could that little bitch say that to him?"

"She's just as upset as he is. Some people need to place blame to make sense of a tragedy," Diesel continued.

Stephanie forced herself to look back at the horrible scene before her. The ambulance had arrived, and the EMTs were attempting to revive Jose.

By this time, Mrs. Manoso held her youngest son as he yelled to his brother. "Don't give up on me, Jose!"

The weakness in her knees returned as Stephanie sobbed. She immediately knew that this was the reason Ranger lost his faith in prayer. And this was why he closed himself off to the world. This was why he kept his distance from her, and why he moved Heaven and Earth to protect her. She wasn't the only one who was broken.

"It's time to go, Stephanie," Diesel whispered gently in her ear. "I still have one more thing to show you."

Stephanie shook her head. "I can't, Diesel. Please. I don't think I can handle anymore."

"You're stronger than you think you are, darlin'. The coma tour is almost done. Let's go."

Diesel hugged her tighter as the blackness enveloped them.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: We're almost done here. One more chapter after this. And thanks again for all the reviews and PMs. It means a lot when you hear that readers have enjoyed your story. I know some have blasted me for not putting a tissue warning on the last chapter (Christi), but I don't like to give spoilers. I'd rather things take you by surprise.

Chapter Five

Stephanie continues to sob as the world returned around them. She couldn't get young Carlos' painful expression out of her mind. She might have come from a family of screwballs, but the most tragic thing that she dealt with was the loss of Grandpa Mazur. It had been horrible enough to see his brother killed, but he didn't deserve to be blamed for it by his own sister.

Diesel held her until the sobs subsided. "That was one helluva Christmas Eve, huh?"

"That's what changed him, wasn't it? That's when he put that wall around him."

Diesel nodded.

"Has he opened up to anyone after that?" Stephanie wondered.

Diesel's eyebrows shot up his forehead. "Duh!"

Stephanie frowned. "Me? You think he opened up to me? Ranger never tells me anything. Why do you think we call him the Man of Mystery?"

"You know he doesn't eat crap. You know he has a daughter. You know that you can depend on him. You know he is disciplined. You know that he loves you. You know his favorite color is black. And you know that he's a good person. You know he doesn't wear underwear. What more do you need to really know a person?" Diesel told her.

"It's not that simple, Diesel, and you know it," Stephanie sighed. "And how do you know he doesn't wear underwear?"

"What's more important? Knowing _things_ about a person? Or knowing who a person really is?" Diesel shot back. "And for your information, Ranger doesn't have panty lines. It's not like I checked him out."

"It's the same thing," she maintained.

"Yeah? How much did you know about Dickie? Maybe not about the lubricants, you knew everything about him. But you didn't really know who he was. How'd that work out for ya?"

Before she could respond, a car whizzed past and slowed to a stop. Stephanie realized they were standing on Stark Street in Trenton. Two ladies of the evening approached the car. Lula and Jackie! Lula had squeezed herself into red spandex pants with a twinkling silver top.

"Hey baby!" Lula cooed to the driver. "You lookin' for an early Christmas present?"

Jackie bent down to look at the driver. "Oh Lula…you go girl! This one's easy money. Lucky for us, we get paid by the job and not the hour! You might as well take care of him at the curb. You'll be ready for the Christmas rush in just a few minutes."

"Mind your own business!" the john yelled at her through the open window of the BMW. Jackie stepped back, and the street light illuminated his face. It was Dickie Orr.

"Are you kiddin' me?" Stephanie huffed. "Were we still married?"

Diesel laughed. "Nah. This is two years ago. Guess his mom should have called him _Quickie_ instead of _Dickie_."

"Damn!" Lula cried out. "I didn't even get in the car yet. But the price is still the same. I'll only charge you for a hand job seein' as that is my cheapest service."

"I'm not paying you anything!" Dickie growled. "You didn't perform any service!"

Lula grabbed his keys and tossed them to Jackie. "I guess you'll just have to speak to the Complaint Department. Hey Antonio…we got a guy here that don't want to pay."

A man, who would rival the size of Tank, emerged from the shadows of a doorway. He stomped over to the driver's side door. "You pay Lula her money, or I'll break my foot off in yo' ass."

This must have done the trick because Dickie began to hand Lula some bills. The guy did have some really big feet.

"This money better not be sticky," Lula warned.

Stephanie turned to Diesel. "Is this another reminder that Dickie Orr is an asshole?"

Diesel smiled. "Sort of. I just thought you could use a laugh right now. You know...something to lighten the mood. Have a giggle at Quickie's expense."

"Lula never told me my ex-was a former customer," Stephanie said.

"Do you really think she remembers everyone? Besides, this was more _self_-service. Doesn't he know that you have to pay to pump your gas in Jersey?" Diesel bent over in a fit of laughter at his own joke.

"There is something definitely wrong with you, Diesel," Stephanie muttered.

Diesel got himself under control. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself on that one. Get it? _Pump_ your own gas…_self_ service?" He giggled again at his quick wit.

This time, Stephanie couldn't help herself either and joined in.

Diesel snaked his arm around her waist and hugged her tight. "See, darlin', I always told you that I was special. Do you believe me now?"

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "I always believed that you were special, Diesel. I just thought it was ride-the-short-bus-to-school special."

"We'd better get going. The Coma Tour is coming to an end. Just a couple of encores, and we're done," Diesel urged.

Lula and Jackie's laughter faded as the darkness fell.

The next thing Stephanie knew, they were in Ranger's seventh floor apartment at Haywood. Ella must have left dinner as there was a covered tray on the breakfast bar. Ranger was nowhere in sight.

"What are we doing here? Where's Ranger?" Stephanie whispered. She felt as if they had invaded his private space while he wasn't there.

"Five…four…three…two…one," Diesel counted down. "Herrrrrrre's Johnny!"

The front door opened, and Ranger let himself into his apartment. He dropped his keys in the dish and rifled through his mail. His usual routine. He paused at the bar to lift the covered dish to see what Ella prepared for him. After popping a green bean into his mouth, he sauntered over to the bookcase. There was a photo that she had never seen before. It was his brother, Jose, in full military dress uniform. Ranger brought the picture back to the bar and propped it up next to him. She didn't notice that he had grabbed two photo frames until he stood the other one beside the first. The second picture was of her.

"When was this? And when did he take that picture?" Stephanie demanded.

"This was last year. He always works the holidays, so others can be with their families," Diesel replied. "If you were wondering," Diesel added, "you were with Morelli that night."

"Was he always alone?" Stephanie wondered. "I mean…was there ever any…women?"

"Come on, darlin'," Diesel snorted. "Do you really think Ranger leads a celibate life? You don't want me to show you scenes of Ranger with other women, do you?"

Stephanie shook her head. "No! I don't want to see that. I was just wondering. I kept going back to Joe because I didn't want to be alone anymore. Ranger doesn't want a relationship because he is a loner."

"Sex and relationships aren't mutually exclusive, you know. He's still a man, Stephanie. He had needs just like anybody else."

Stephanie's stomach twisted. Just like she suspected Joe had someone else, she also assumed Ranger had other women. It hurt to get actual confirmation.

"But at least I can tell you that Ranger _narrowed_ his options after meeting you," Diesel added.

"Really?" Stephanie asked hopefully.

"Yeah…really."

She watched Ranger as he ate his dinner with the pictures of her and his brother. What Diesel said made sense. Although she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of being right. Sometimes knowing one or two important things about a person was enough to really know who he was. Ranger spent last Christmas Eve with the two people that meant a lot to him. And she was one of them. For all she knew about Dickie, he never even gave her that much.

"Still confused?" Diesel asked.

She shook her head again. "No…not anymore."

Stephanie turned to Diesel and hugged him tight. "Thank you so much for showing me all this. You gave me the greatest Christmas present ever."

"It's what I do, darlin'. So what did you get me?" Diesel joked. "I could use one of those new Kindles."

"You read?" Stephanie chided him. "I thought you just looked at the pictures."

Diesel shrugged. "So get me a Kindle Fire then. High-def pictures!"

Stephanie stole one more glance at Ranger. "I won't let you eat alone this Christmas," she whispered before they faded away.

Once again, Stephanie and Diesel were back in the ER waiting room. In addition to the Stephanie Plum Fan Club, the ER was rocking that night. Ranger now sat with her family, and his men dutifully stood off to the side to allow others to sit. Lula, Connie, and Morelli were still there. She really did have a lot of good people around her. A haggard-looking triage nurse huffed past them and cracked open one of the double doors to the treatment area.

"I need someone to clean up Curtain Five. I got a guy out here with a vacuum hose stuck on his penis," she called back to the nurses' station. "The name's Orr. Dickie Orr."

A wave of laughter washed over the entire room.

"No, I'm not kidding. That's his _real_ name," the triage nurse insisted. She turned to the triage office and waved over the ambulance crew. A red-faced Dickie Orr rolled through the now hysterical crowd.

"What's the matter with you?" he hissed at the nurse. "Haven't you heard of HIPAA? I'll sue you for this!"

The nurse crossed her arms as she rolled her eyes. "It's not my fault you had sex with an appliance."

"Don't spread rumors like that!" he insisted. "I…uh…I fell on this. You've seen those Oreck commercials where the suction is so powerful that it lifts a bowling ball. It was an accident."

The nurse lifted the sheet to expose the Dirt Devil. "That's not an Oreck. Next time, don't forget the lubricants."

Dickie Orr was taken back as the nurse returned to her station. The laughter began to die down.

Stephanie shot Diesel a look. He raised his arms with his palms up.

"What? Come on, darlin'. That was funny as hell. I can't even take credit for that one," Diesel assured her. "Well maybe the timing, but I didn't tell him to stick his dick in a vacuum."

Stephanie smirked. "I guess it was the wrong time for him to give up lubricants. Now I'm glad that I didn't run him over today."

Diesel laughed. "Now you're finally getting into the spirit. Let's go."

He took her hand and led her back to the operating room. Stephanie wasn't sure she wanted to see this, so she decided to stall.

"Um…hey," she stammered. "Shouldn't we like scrub up or something?"

"What are you afraid of? Astral germs?" Diesel groaned.

"No. But wait a minute…you've only showed me the past and present. What about the future?"

Diesel shrugged. "That's only in fiction. The future is in constant motion. I can't show you what doesn't exist."

"But…"

"Hurry up. We don't have much time." Diesel dragged her inside the OR.

"What do you mean we don't have much time?" she cried. Before she could say another word, she got an eye full of the back of her head on the operating table.

"Holy shit! Tell me they didn't shave my head! They've got me looking like the lead singer of Bow Wow Wow!" she exclaimed.

Diesel leaned over one of the doctors to get a better look. "You've had worse things done to your hair. That ain't so bad. Actually, punk rock is a good look for you."

Stephanie looked away after she saw her own blood. "What are they doing to me? Do I have brain damage or something?"

Diesel snuck a peek at her chart. "Says that you have a small epidural hematoma that is putting pressure on the medulla oblongata. Hmm…sounds pretty serious."

"What the hell is a medulla oblongata?" she demanded.

"Remember _The Waterboy_? Alligators is ornery because of their medulla oblongata. Dur-hur-hur." Diesel did his best Adam Sandler imitation.

Stephanie punched his arm. "Don't make me tackle you. This isn't funny. I'm having brain surgery here!"

Diesel frowned. "You're no fun. It's part of the brain stem. The part that controls stuff like breathing and heart rate."

"Oh…well excuse me for being ornery. Am I going to be okay?"

All of a sudden, Stephanie felt woozy. A warning tone rang out.

"Pressure's dropping!" the anesthesiologist barked.

"She's bradying down. Pulse weak and thready!" a nurse called out.

"W-what's happening to me?" Stephanie slurred as she collapsed into Diesel's arms.

"See you on the other side, darlin'," he whispered in her ear before her world went black.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thanks to all that stuck with me for this journey. Cristi…it's not 10k words, but it's a long ass chapter. I always like to respond to all my reviews, but I screwed up and accidently deleted a bunch of stuff in my Inbox that didn't go into the Trash. So, if you don't get a reply, I'm sorry. I do want to thank all of you for the wonderful reviews. It's really special when you know that all your hard work was enjoyed by others. And thanks to all those that did donate to Ronald McDonald Charities. Those families are incredibly grateful for all your support. Happy Holidays to all!

Chapter Six

Blinding white light forced her to squeeze her eyes shut. Her head felt as if it were in a vice. Crushing pain caused her to groan.

"Welcome back, Miss Plum." A woman's gentle voice greeted her.

Stephanie squinted towards the sound. "Hurts," she whispered thickly. Actually, it came out more like 'hurths' due to her mouth feeling like the floor of a movie theater.

"You've just had surgery for bleeding in your brain. Everything went well, and you're going to be fine. I'm giving you some pain medication now. I'll check back in a few minutes to make sure it's working. Just try to rest now, okay?"

"'Kay," she murmured.

Whatever the nurse had given her must have been some pretty good stuff. The vice started to loosen a bit. Stephanie again tried to open her eyes, but her lids felt as if they were weighted down. Sleep. She just needed to sleep it off. Drugs were a good thing.

Stephanie thought she had only closed her eyes for a few minutes, but it was hours later. She had been transferred to the ICU. Various machines hummed and softly beeped around her. Her mouth and throat still felt like a desert. The crushing pain had ebbed to a dull ache. As more things came into focus, she remembered Diesel's words.

"_See you on the other side, darlin_."

Everything that Diesel showed her came flooding back. It seemed so real, but it had to be a dream. She had a bad head injury that required surgery. She was Stephanie Plum after all. Figures she would have a Wizard of Oz moment like when Dorothy got caught up in a tornado. Instead of following the yellow brick road with the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion, she had Diesel, Ranger, Morelli, her family, and an asshole with a Dirt Devil on his dick.

"Hey there. How are you feeling?"

Stephanie cut her eyes to the right. A huge padded collar immobilized her neck. "Okay."

"I'm Linda. I'll be your nurse this evening," she explained. "On a scale of zero to ten, with zero being no pain and ten the worst pain you've ever had, how would you rate your pain?"

"About a five," Stephanie admitted. "Can I have something to drink? My mouth is so dry."

"Sorry, you can only have ice chips right now. I'll get you something for the pain, but I'm going to do a quick neuro check first."

Linda checked her pupils, asked Stephanie to follow her finger with her eyes, checked extremity strength and reflexes. "Good. You're doing very well. I'll be right back."

After getting some ice chips and pain medication, Linda explained what happened, the surgery, and what to expect over the next few days.

"Your family has been in and out, but you've been sleeping most of the day. In fact...," Linda paused as she glanced at the clock. "It's midnight, so Merry Christmas."

"Huh? I've been out that long?"

"Pretty much. The doctors didn't want you to get too much stimulation, so you're getting a scheduled dose of a sedative. We've limited visitors to family only. Everybody left a little while ago. They'll be back in the morning," Linda explained.

"Oh," Stephanie sighed. She really wanted to see Ranger.

"Well…everybody except a very handsome man who insisted on staying here. He's in the waiting room. Would you like to see him now?"

"Yes," she croaked.

Linda smiled as she squeezed her hand. "Be right back."

Hurry up, Stephanie thought. The pain medicine was starting to kick in. She had to see him. The room appeared to spin, so she closed her eyes.

"Merry Christmas, Babe."

Stephanie opened her eyes to see Ranger standing beside her. He took her hand in his, threading his fingers through hers. Overcome with emotion, and Demerol, she burst into tears.

"Ssshhh, Babe," Ranger whispered. "They'll kick me out of here if I get you too worked up."

"I promise not to give up on you," she breathed before falling back to sleep.

The concept of time was pretty much lost on Stephanie at this point. But the memory of her weird dream about the coma tour haunted her. She never had a dream so vivid in all her life. She heard the soft clicks of a keyboard beside the bed. She started to turn her head, but the collar and the bandage forced her to stop.

"How are you feeling?" Linda asked.

"Thirsty."

"How's the pain right now?"

"I think I'm okay. I don't want to be knocked out again. I already missed Ranger's visit," Stephanie whined.

Linda pointed to the other side of her bed. Stephanie searched the room until she saw Ranger sleeping in the chair beside her.

"I didn't have the heart to make him sit out in the waiting room by himself," Linda admitted. "From what the nurses told me, he's been here since you were brought in. I told him to sit down before he fell down. He looked dead on his feet."

"Thanks," Stephanie told her.

Ranger must have pulled the chair flush against her bed. His body slumped towards her. A pillow protected his head from uncomfortably resting on her side rail. Stephanie was certain Linda had something to do with that. She could only see half his face from her supine position. The doctors wanted her to lay flat for twenty four hours. They would sit her up sometime that morning. She knew that Ranger probably needed the sleep as much as she did, but she wanted to talk to him desperately.

"Ranger?" she called softly.

He didn't budge. She reached out to stroke his hair but missed. Their positions made it awkward, and she accidently poked him in the eye. Ranger jerked awake but smiled as soon as he saw her. He immediately hopped to his feet.

"How you feeling?"

"I'm okay. Just very tired," she told him.

"You really scared me, Babe," Ranger confessed.

Stephanie thought back to the scene at Hailey's Pub. The look on Ranger's face and his melt down. If only that had been real.

"Sorry. I screwed up again," she apologized. "I should have been more aware of my surroundings."

"Don't think about that now," Ranger ordered. "Just focus on getting better."

Stephanie yawned. "I'm sorry. I'm just so tired. Why don't you go home and get some real sleep? I'm not going anywhere."

"I'd rather stay right here." He bent down and kissed her forehead.

Stephanie was too tired to argue. And honestly, having Ranger by her side was a great comfort.

"Okay," she whispered before falling back to sleep.

By the time Stephanie awoke, Linda had gone and Shelly had taken her place. Ranger dutifully remained at one side. Her father now on the other.

"Hi Daddy," she groveled. Ice chips did jack shit to help with her dry mouth.

"Hello, Pumpkin." Frank Plum kissed her cheek. "How do you feel?"

"Better."

"The doctor said you'll be able to sit up today," Frank continued.

"Did the doctor say I could eat and drink today too?" she asked hopefully.

"Sounds like she's almost back to normal," Ranger joked.

Stephanie finally got a good look at him without the drug fog. Ranger sported two day's growth of a beard. His clothes were rumpled. And the worst…she couldn't smell Bulgari on him. The only way Ranger was going to go home was if she kicked him out. But she wasn't going to hide her feelings about him anymore. Even if the coma tour was a dream, it woke her up to reality.

"Now that my dad's here, why don't you go home for a little while, Carlos?"

Both Ranger's eyebrows arched. Did she overdo it with calling him Carlos? Her father lent her an unknowing hand.

"You look spent, Ranger," Frank agreed. "I know it's hard to leave, but the only reason I went home last night was because I knew you were with her. I'll be here until you come back. I won't leave her alone."

That seemed to satisfy him because Ranger gave her father a curt nod. Then he leaned down and brushed his lips across hers.

"I'll be back soon, Babe," he whispered.

He shook Frank's hand and turned to go.

"Carlos?" Stephanie called to him.

He paused in the doorway.

"If there is an open McDonalds…can you bring me back some food?" she begged.

"You might not be able to eat yet, Pumpkin," her father cautioned.

"I know," she conceded. "But if I can, I want to have something good."

Ranger smirked. "You got it, Babe."

Interesting. No warning about McDonalds killing her. Maybe something did change after all!

The nursing staff had been really good with letting Ranger and her father stay passed the strict visiting hours of the ICU. The doctor seemed thrilled with her progress, and Shelly raised the head of the bed to a forty five degree angle. But the best part was liquids! She did fine with the water and moved on to juice. The juice tasted like heaven on her sandpaper tongue.

"Do you mind if I put on the TV?" Frank asked. "I'd like to watch the news."

"No, Daddy, go ahead. It might be nice to catch up on what's happening in the world," Stephanie agreed. "I feel like I've missed so much."

Frank found the remote and clicked on the TV. After the commercial break, the newscasters could hardly keep a straight face as they reported on a public disturbance that happened the night before.

"_The prominent local attorney that was arrested last night for disturbing the peace at A & G Appliances was identified as Richard Orr_."

"Putz," Frank muttered.

"_Mr. Orr tried to return a Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner just before they closed on Christmas Eve claiming the device was defective_."

The newscasters burst out laughing. If Stephanie didn't have on that thick padded collar, her chin would have dropped to her chest. The video cut to A & G Appliance where the on-scene reporter continued the story.

"_Employees and customers were on hand to witness the argument that started at the Customer Service counter. Mr. Orr reported that the vacuum didn't work properly and wanted a refund. He had purchased it only one day prior. One of the customers told the sales girl that Mr. Orr had used the appliance as a sex toy and had to have it surgically removed at St. Francis the night before. We have that customer right here to tell us his story. This is Mr. Chuck Dickens…_"

The camera panned right, and the reported angled her microphone towards none-other than Diesel.

"Oh my God!" Stephanie exclaimed as she tried to sit up.

"Yeah well I was in the ER with a friend that got her melon whacked, and he was rolled in with his dick stuck in a vacuum. He tried to tell everyone that he _fell_ on it. We all laughed of course. So, I told the sales girl to not touch the thing because it was probably stick-_kay_," Diesel said before looking directly into the camera and waggling his eyebrows.

It wasn't a dream. It was all real. Ranger's heartbreaking past played over in her mind. Overwhelmed, Stephanie began to cry.

Frank turned the TV off. "I'm sorry, Pumpkin. I didn't mean to get you worked up. You have to calm down."

"No, Daddy," she cried, "you don't understand. I was there. I saw Mom tell off Marion Zajak."

Now it was Frank's turn for his jaw to drop. "How did you know that? Did Ranger tell you what happened?"

"Miss Plum," Shelly explained as she hurried to her side, "I'm giving you a sedative. It's important to keep your intracranial pressure down." She pushed the medication through her IV.

Stephanie couldn't get the image of young Carlos begging his brother not to leave him. He still carried that pain around like a lead weight. The medication began to take effect as her body buzzed peacefully. She babbled about Diesel, and Christmas Eve mass, and egg nog.

"What's happening?" Stephanie heard her father ask. His voice filled with worry. "She's not making any sense. Is she all right?"

"It's the medication," Shelly told him with a calming tone. Her tone calmed Stephanie down as well. "It can make you a little loopy. She'll be fine…" Shelly's voice sounded like a record playing on the wrong speed as Stephanie drifted off to sleep.

Stephanie had returned to her apartment. From the smell of Christmas cookies and the warm body pressed against her, Diesel had returned as well.

"So what did you think of my TV debut?" he joked.

"What's happening? Am I back in a coma?" Stephanie asked.

"Nah, you're just schnockered out of your gourd. You were freaking out, and I needed to check on you," he explained.

"This is all real, isn't it? Everything that happened. You weren't lying. It was all real."

"You think I lie? Did you think I made all that shit up?" Diesel rolled onto his back.

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "You don't _always_ tell the truth, you know."

"I _don't_ lie!" Diesel insisted.

Stephanie narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well…not _all_ the time," he finally admitted. "I only lie when I don't want to tell somebody the truth. What's wrong with that?"

Diesel slid off the bed and hopped to his feet. "Look…I can't stay too long. I gotta catch up with Lula. Seems that she's been tracking down all of Tiny Tim's women to find the one that hit you."

"Really?" Stephanie beamed. Lula really was a good friend.

Diesel grinned. "Yeah, she's stun-gunned like three of them already. I gotta stop her before she gets herself in trouble. Besides, she already nailed the one that whacked you. Got her on the first try. Any ideas who I should send after her?"

Stephanie nodded. "Send Tank. Life is too short, and they've wasted enough time being apart."

Diesel winked. "You got it, darlin'."

"Are you like our guardian angel or something? You never really told me what an Unmentionable was."

Diesel shrugged. "Yeah, I'm your guardian angel. The guy in front of me got Alaska, and the guy in back of me got Hawaii. I got stuck with New Jersey. But at least you make it more interesting." He turned towards the door.

"Wait!" Stephanie cried. "What should I do about Ranger?"

Diesel hooked his thumb towards the door way. "I've got someone here that'll be able to answer that question."

Stephanie peered around Diesel to see Jose Manoso leaning in the door frame. The same way his brother always did. Jose was clad in his black beret and olive drab fatigues. Ranger looked just like him.

"Don't give up on him," Jose told her as he ambled towards the bed and knelt before her. "I've been watching over him all these years. He loves you very much, Stephanie. He's struggling with allowing himself to get closer to you. He wants it bad. Carlos has dealt with a lot of loss as a kid. First me. Then our parents sent him to live with our grandmother. Then she passed away. He doesn't think he could handle losing you too."

"W-what can I do?" Stephanie stammered.

"Start by being honest with him," Jose suggested. "He needs to hear that you love him."

"I will!" she exclaimed. "I'm not afraid to tell him anymore."

Jose smiled, and her heart melted. Ranger had Jose's smile. He took her left hand in both of his.

"And you gotta tell him that I said, 'Proud of you, bro'," Jose requested. "He'll know what that means."

Jose kissed the back of her hand. "Take care of my little brother, Stephanie."

"I will," she whispered because her throat tightened.

Diesel, Jose, and the room started to fade as Jose repeated, "Don't give up on him."

From the sound of the heart monitor and the dull ache in the back of her head, Stephanie knew she was back in the ICU. The coma tour had been more exhausting than the actual coma! Everything was the same as before…except the smell of Bulgari! She attempted to turn her head to the right but groaned from the effort.

"Babe."

"I'm really glad you're back," she whispered.

"You're dad was really worried about you. He said you got upset after hearing about your ex getting arrested," Ranger explained.

Stephanie chewed on her lower lip. If she told him about Diesel's Christmas Coma Tour and meeting his dead brother now, he'd think it was the head injury talking. Or that she was just batshit crazy! And who would really believe her? She didn't even believe it herself at first.

"Cupcake?" Joe Morelli leaned against the door frame.

Saved by Morelli, Stephanie thought. Maybe she should practice what she wanted to say with Joe before unloading on Ranger. "Hi, Joe."

"I won't stay," he began. "I just wanted to check on you."

Joe and Ranger stiffly acknowledged one another.

"I'm okay," Stephanie told him. "I've been better, but at least I'm going to be fine."

"You scared the hell out of us," Joe breathed.

"Ranger? Can you give us a minute please?" Stephanie asked him with bated breath.

Ranger's face gave away nothing, but he nodded and stepped outside. Stephanie reached for Joe's hand.

"I'm sorry for everything, Joe," she cried.

Joe shifted from one foot to the other. "I…I'm sorry too, Cupcake. We just don't seem to know how to make it work."

Stephanie swallowed hard. She took a deep breath then responded. "First, we need to start being totally honest with each other. You aren't in love with me. You are still in love with Terri."

Joe's eyebrows shot up and jaw dropped. He looked away in an attempt to compose himself.

"It's okay, Joe. I know that you love me and care about me, but Terri is the love of your life. She always was. You need to be with her. Life's too short to worry about stupid things," Stephanie continued.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," Joe whispered.

"Didn't you ever wonder why we couldn't commit to each other? You are in love with Terri, and I'm in love with Ranger," she admitted. It felt weird to say it out loud with another human being in the room. Rex didn't count.

Joe's mouth tightened. "I had a feeling there was more going on with you two than you told me about."

"No more going on with me and Ranger than with you and Terri," she shot back. Sighing, she continued. "I'm not angry, Joe. I love you, and you'll always be my friend. But don't we both deserve to be with people we love?"

Joe nodded. "You really love him, don't you?"

"Yes, but I don't know exactly how he feels about me. I mean…I know he loves me, but I don't know if he wants a real relationship with me," she said.

Joe smirked. "Cupcake, Ranger looks at you like you're on the menu. He's always there when you need him. If he doesn't want to be with you, then he is a fool."

"I hope you're right. Now go and be with Terri. She really loves you, Joe. She always has," Stephanie insisted.

"Terri's seen me through a lot of shit," Joe admitted. "I know you heard the rumors going around about my father. Christ…the whole 'Burg knew. They weren't rumors, Steph. Terri stuck by my side the whole time. After my father died, I blew it. Started acting like a jerk. I started acting like him. Getting into fights. Doing stupid shit. Terri tried to help me, but I pushed her away. When she finally left me, I had to get out of Trenton. I joined the Navy on a whim. Before I left for basic, I went to see you at the bakery." He trailed off and swallowed hard.

"I wasn't in a good place, Cupcake. I'm sorry for what I did. You were so beautiful and innocent. I just wanted something good in my life. I wanted somebody good to love me. And I shit all over that by writing about it all over town," Joe confessed.

"I forgive you, Joe. Let's just move forward. We can't change the past but we can learn from it," Stephanie told him.

Morelli frowned. "That must have been some whack to the head. You're making a lot of sense now."

Stephanie smiled. "Let's just say that I'm un-confused."

Joe leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Merry Christmas, Cupcake."

"Merry Christmas, Joe," she replied. She had always felt regret and sadness when they parted in the past. Now, there was a sense of peace. And fatigue. The purging of one's soul was exhausting.

Before she drifted off to sleep, she heard Morelli warn Ranger.

"You'd better take good care of her, or they will never find your body."

Stephanie wasn't sure if it was Ranger's real reply or part of her subconscious.

"The Batcave is forever."

From the warmth on Stephanie's hand, she knew Ranger was still by her side when she awoke again. She checked the room to make sure they were alone. Now was the time. She needed to bare her soul to Ranger or die trying.

"Carlos?" she softly called to him.

He squeezed her hand as he rose to greet her. "Still here, Babe."

"I…I love you," she told him. "I'm not afraid to say it anymore."

He raised her hand to his mouth and brushed his lips across the back. "Why were you afraid to say it?"

"I guess I was afraid of losing you," she professed. "You gave me mixed signals. I was afraid that you didn't feel the same way, and then I would lose my best friend as well."

"I'm sorry, Babe. I wasn't trying to play with your emotions," Ranger explained. "There were things in my past that screwed me up. When you get out of here, we'll have a long talk about it. First, let's get you stronger. I'm not going anywhere. I love you very much, Stephanie Plum."

"I…." Stephanie blew out a deep breath. "I had this weird dream. Only…it wasn't a dream. I know you're not going to believe me, but it really happened. And it's not the head injury or the drugs talking."

"Tell me."

"Well, after I got hit, Diesel showed me things going on now…and in the past," she said as she watched his face for any hint of expression.

"He took me to Hailey's parking lot, the ER waiting room, the OR. And he showed me what happened to your brother Jose." A lone tear ran down her right cheek.

"How do you know about Jose?" Ranger whispered. "Did Tank tell you about him?"

"No," she insisted. "I told you that you wouldn't believe me. I didn't even believe it until Diesel came back while I was sedated. This time, he had Jose with him. Jose told me that he's been watching over you all this time. He told me to tell you, '_Proud of you, bro_'."

Ranger stiffened and his face turned like stone. "How could you know that?" he muttered under his breath.

Stephanie's stomach clenched as bile rose in the back of her throat. Damn. He looked pissed. She shouldn't have said anything. That's the first and last time that she would take advice from a dead guy.

She tried to sit up and reach for him. "I'm sorry!"

Alarms rang out, and Shelly appeared by her side. "Are you all right, Miss Plum? I'm going to give you something to help you rest." She began to inject the medication into an IV port.

"No. Wait," Stephanie begged.

"Yes," Ranger interjected. "You need to take it easy. We'll talk later."

The soothing calm of the sedative started to wash over her entire body.

"I gave her both a sedative and pain medication," Shelly explained to Ranger. "It's been a while since she's had anything for pain. I know you want to spend time with her, but we really don't want her to have too much stimulation right now."

"Understood," she heard Ranger answer.

As the peaceful calm faded into darkness, she felt Ranger take her hand and kiss her cheek. She could have sworn that she heard Ranger say that he loved her too. She prayed it wasn't the drugs talking.

Stephanie awoke to her father holding her hand. Ranger was gone. She had scared him off. Or she upset him by talking about Jose. With his Morelli safety net out of the way, maybe he didn't really want a normal relationship.

"Pumpkin?" her father asked. "Are you okay? You're crying."

Stephanie wiped away the tears with the back of her free hand. "N-no, Daddy, I'm okay."

Frank stood up and dabbed the remaining tears from her cheeks. "Do you want me to get the nurse?"

"No. She's a little drug happy," she told him. "Um…is there anymore juice?"

Frank loaded a cup with ice then added some cranberry juice. "Here you go."

Stephanie sucked half of it down in one long swallow. The juice was good, but she was starting to get hungry. Well maybe not real hunger, but she needed something of a chocolate nature to drown her sorrows.

"Your mother will be up later. Valerie and that idiot husband of hers are over, and you know how your mother fusses over Christmas dinner."

"Didn't you want to have dinner with the family?" she asked.

"Pumpkin, I know you've had a terrible head injury, but I think you've met them before," Frank groaned. "Besides, Ranger called me and asked me to stay with you. He had something to take care of but said he would be back."

"Was he mad?" Stephanie dreaded the answer.

"No."

"Was he upset?" Stephanie pushed.

"No, nothing like that," Frank assured her.

"Did he look depressed?"

Frank sighed. "Pumpkin…what's going on? Did you two have a fight?"

"Did he say anything about me being crazy? Or having me committed?"

Frank shuffled over to the seat vacated by Ranger and sat down. "He was fine, Pumpkin. Now tell me what's wrong."

Stephanie took another sip of her juice. "I told him that I loved him. And I probably pushed him away."

"It's about time," Frank muttered. "You're a lot like your mother, Stephanie. Sometimes, you need to be more upfront with people. And you need to stand up for yourself."

"Like when Mom told off Marion Zajak?"

Frank shifted in his seat. "You said earlier that you were there. That you saw what happened."

"Um…yeah," she confessed.

"I thought that Ranger might have told you, but I had forgotten that he was in the chapel at that time. Either somebody else told you, or you really were there." Frank's blank face could rival Ranger's.

"Daddy, something weird happened. It was like a dream, but it was real. I saw things going on while I was in a coma. When I woke up from the surgery, I thought it was a dream. When the news story about Dickie came on, I knew it was real," she explained.

"Pumpkin, did you know that you coded during the surgery? You were clinically dead for five minutes. Thank God the doctors and nurses were able to bring you back to us."

Stephanie's eyes widened. Diesel didn't tell her that part. Or did he? 'See you on the other side, darlin'', he had said to her. Was she dead while he showed her all those things?

"What?" Frank prompted.

"Diesel. I was with Diesel all that time. He took me to places in the past and present," Stephanie said.

Frank groaned. "Not that surfer guy again."

"No, Daddy, you don't understand. Diesel kept me safe. He's a good guy," she insisted. "I was confused about a lot of things before I got hit in the head. Mostly, I was confused about my feelings for Ranger. And my relationship with Joe. Everything is crystal clear now. I also saw Ranger's older brother who was killed. He gave me a message to give to Ranger. I think I freaked him out."

Frank smirked. "I don't think so."

"You don't believe me," Stephanie sighed.

Frank took her hand. "I do believe you, Pumpkin. I just don't think Ranger was scared away. It sounds like you had an out-of-body experience. An old war buddy of mine had one. He told us everything that we had said while the doctor and nurse at the field hospital fought so hard to bring him back. There was no way he could have known those things unless he was telling the truth."

"So you don't think I'm crazy?" she asked hopefully.

Frank smiled. "Crazy is a relative term with the women in our family. I think your grandmother is crazy. It might be genetic. You're mother's not all there at times. Do I think you're crazy? Maybe. But I believe you, Pumpkin."

"Do you think that Ranger thinks I'm crazy?"

Frank shook his head. "If he thought you were crazy or was upset that you talked about his brother, he wouldn't have said he was coming back."

"Why would you think I wasn't coming back?"

Stephanie grinned ear to ear after her eyes fell upon the most welcome site standing in the doorway. "I thought I pissed you off after talking about your brother."

Frank immediately jumped to his feet and offered Ranger the chair beside the bed. "I'm going to go to the cafeteria for some coffee. Can I bring you guys back something?"

"No thanks, Mr. Plum. I'm good," Ranger told him.

"Can I have Pepsi?" Stephanie wondered.

"The caffeine-free kind you can. The doctor said no caffeine yet," Frank explained.

Stephanie scrunched up her face in distain. "I think I'll stick with the juice."

As Frank left, Ranger took back his spot next to the bed. "Sorry I had to leave. Apparently, Tank and Lula caught the woman that attacked you. Tank got this anonymous phone call that we couldn't even trace. Any idea who that was?"

Stephanie bit her lower lip. "Um…Diesel?"

Ranger's right eyebrow arched. A smiled played at the corners of his mouth. "And you know this how?"

"I sort of asked him to send Tank," she replied sheepishly.

"Well after she stunned her, she had Tank help carry this lady to a friend's tattoo parlor. They tattooed BITCH on her forehead. I guess this brought back old memories because Tank and Lula decided to get back together."

"They really are meant for each other," Stephanie mused. She rolled on her side to face Ranger. "I'm sorry if I upset you by talking about Jose. He really loves you."

Ranger gave her a rueful smile. "I idolized him. He always let me tag along. I wanted to be just like him. Even when I screwed up, he would tell me, 'Proud of you, bro'."

She squeezed his hand. "He said that you would know what that means. He told me to be honest with you and that you needed to hear that I love you. Then he told me to take care of you."

Ranger brought the back of her hand to his lips. "What else did Jose tell you?"

"He said that you should marry me." Stephanie held her breath. She was never a good liar but maybe the coma tour gave her some new insight. Guess not. Now both of Ranger's eyebrows raised.

"He really said that?"

Stephanie slumped down in the hospital bed. "Well…not in so many words. Okay…not in any of those words."

Ranger gave her his patented two-hundred watt grin. "When my grandmother died, she left me a small box. I didn't open it for years until she came to me in a dream."

Ranger reached into his pocket and pulled out a diamond ring. "She told me that she wanted this ring to be given to the woman that held my heart. I didn't give it to Rachel because I didn't love her. I thought it would be passed down to Julie one day. That is…until I met you."

Ranger slid the diamond on her left ring finger. The diamond wasn't quite a carat, but the stone had a lot of presence.

"It's so beautiful," she whispered. Her heart rate kicked up, and the butterflies in her belly now felt like bats.

"I don't want to live without you in my life, Babe. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that. Two days ago, I almost lost you, so I don't want to waste anymore time. Would you marry me, Stephanie?"

She tried to nod since her voice decided to quit working but hissed from the stabbing sensation at the back of her head. It almost felt as if she popped a staple the pain was so bad. Then she lost control of everything. Her body began to tremble.

"Babe? Are you all right?" Ranger demanded.

She couldn't speak so she mouthed, yes.

"What's happening?" Ranger asked Shelly as she appeared at the bedside.

"She's having a seizure. This is not uncommon," Shelly explained in a calm and reassuring tone. "This is why we don't want her to have too much stimulation."

Stephanie mouthed, yes, again to Ranger. Yes, she was in pain and having a seizure, but she wanted to tell Ranger that the answer was yes! This was a happy seizure damn it! Don't give me those drugs yet, she yelled inside her head. Unfortunately, the words came out like an unintelligible Jabba the Hut. Shelly was worse than a drug pusher. Within minutes, the familiar head buzz took over her whole body. She waited too long for this moment to let it get away from her now.

"I will marry you, Carlos," she forced out before slipping back into the darkness.

The last thing she remembered was Ranger's voice. "Get some rest, Babe. I'll be here when you wake up."

Once again, Stephanie returned to her apartment where Diesel awaited her. He looked like that cat that swallowed the canary.

"You kinda looked like you were doin' the Worm, darlin'."

"Please tell me that Carlos heard me tell him that I would marry him," she begged.

"Well…it kind of came out like 'owl maui-ooh Calith', but I think he got the point," Diesel joked.

"I can't believe this is happening," she whined. "Everything was going so perfectly. Stupid seizure!"

"Am I good or what?" He pointed to the diamond ring.

"You're better than good," Stephanie admitted. She pulled Diesel into a hug. "Thank you."

Diesel kissed her cheek. "Merry Christmas, darlin'."

"Merry Christmas, Diesel. You did Charles Dickens proud."

Diesel smiled wide. "God bless us…everyone. Dur-Hur-Hur."

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "Okay…you just ruined it."

Diesel shrugged his shoulders with his palms up. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself."

That's when Stephanie noticed the black ink on his fingers. She grabbed his hand. "What's this?"

"Oh…I had a little tattoo job tonight."

"You didn't!" Stephanie cried.

"Hello! What tattoo parlor was going to be open on Christmas Day?" Diesel asked her. "I wanted to get my shot in, too. I care about you, ya' know. Out of all the people I look after, you're my favorite."

"Really?"

"Hell yeah," Diesel continued. "None of the shit you get into happens to normal people. They're so boring. And you laugh at all my jokes."

"All of them?" Stephanie crossed her arms.

"Well…most of them. Okay…a few of them," he corrected. "And I heard you defend me to your father. Admit it…you really like me."

Stephanie smiled. "No, I don't like you, Diesel. I love you. You're a good friend. You're like my Fairy Godfather."

Diesel gagged. "Whoa whoa whoa! Let's get something straight here. I'm not a _fairy_. I'm all man here."

Stephanie smirked. "You might be all man, Diesel, but you're not all there either," she told him as she tapped the side of her head.

Diesel grabbed her hand to admire the ring again. "I'd better get invited to the wedding. I gotta go now, darlin'. You've gotta take it easy for a while. I want you in tip-top shape for the next mess you get into," Diesel said.

"I thought you said that you can't see the future because it doesn't exist yet?" Stephanie confronted him.

"I can't. Even after you become Stephanie Manoso, you're still you. Now don't tell me that you're going to turn into some boring 'Burg housewife. That would break my heart, and my job would become a real drag."

"I promise to never become a boring 'Burg housewife," Stephanie muttered as the apartment faded, and the ICU appeared.

"You'll never be boring, Babe"

Stephanie opened her eyes again to see Ranger's smiling face. He lifted her left hand to show her the ring. "In case you didn't understand me, I said that I will marry you, Carlos."

"I got the gist of it," Ranger admitted. "You really know how to worry the hell out of me, Babe."

"Am I all right? Why did I have a seizure?" Stephanie grilled him.

"The doctors told us that this could happen. I had to promise not to get you excited anymore, or they would have to kick me out," Ranger explained.

"It's hard not to get excited around you," Stephanie replied.

"I should have waited a few more days to propose, but I had wasted enough time," he apologized. "Let's not talk about the wedding just yet."

"And let's not talk about setting a date until my hair grows back," Stephanie agreed.

"Oh good, you're awake." Helen Plum entered the room with a huge grocery bag. "Hello, Ranger."

"Mom…we've got some exciting news," Stephanie said. She held up her left hand. "Carlos asked me to marry him."

"Thank God," Helen muttered under her breath as she set the bag down on a bedside table.

"And Mom," Stephanie added, "thanks for telling off Marion Zajak. I heard that you really put her in her place."

"Stephanie…I love you very much and am very proud of you. I should have told you that sooner," Helen confessed. "And I should have told her off a long time ago. Congratulations to both of you."

She unpacked her grocery bag. "Your father said that you can't have food yet, so I just brought you some egg nog."

Stephanie cut her eyes to Ranger to see his reaction. Nothing. Figures. Helen poured some into an empty Styrofoam cup. She capped it and added a straw before handing it to Stephanie.

"Ranger? Would you like some?" Helen offered.

Ranger hesitated. Stephanie could see the inner struggle.

"It's not Christmas without egg nog," she told him.

Ranger nodded then Helen handed him a cup. He took a long sip. "This is very good, Mrs. Plum. It's been a long time since I've had egg nog."

"You're welcome. I brought more for the nurses. I'll be right back," Helen said.

"Are you okay?" Stephanie asked him. Ranger wasn't one to allow himself to feel all his emotions.

"Yeah, Babe. This is the best I've been in a long time. Because of you. Merry Christmas, Babe." He leaned over and kissed her.

"Merry Christmas, Carlos."

He relaxed in the chair beside her, and they enjoyed their egg nog. It was one of their best Christmas days ever.

THE END


End file.
